I never knew this was a thing!
A “cycle-sexualist” caught half-naked in a compromising position with his bicycle has been put on probation for three years.
Robert Stewart’s unlikely perversion has been analysed in chat rooms around the world after he was caught by two cleaners who walked in on him in a hostel room.
The 51-year-old was naked from the waist down and when the women opened the door he paused only to ask, “What is it, hen?”, before continuing to “move his hips back and forth as if to simulate sex”.
The case has prompted criticism of “loony British laws”, but he ended up in court because the “shocked” cleaners said they had knocked repeatedly before opening the door.
At Ayr sheriff court on the west coast of Scotland today, Mr Stewart was sentenced for the rare offence and for a separate breach of the peace charge for threatening a member of staff in a hostel in the town.
The court was told that alcohol was the cause of his problems, and he was placed under the supervision of a social worker and warned that if he re-offended he would be sent to prison.
Sheriff Colin Miller added: “In almost four decades in the law I thought I had come across every perversion known to mankind, but this is a new one on me. I have never heard of a ‘cycle-sexualist’. ”
Mr Stewart, an unemployed bachelor, has described the incident as a misunderstanding caused by too much drink, and said claims that he was having sex with the bike were “a load of rubbish”.
His solicitor Gerry Tierney described his client as a “sad little man” who was trying to tackle his drink problem.
He added: “When the cleaners came in, he thought he was having fun with them. He does not think it is funny any more, and he has had to move home three times because he has been targeted because of the offence.”
Mr Stewart’s exploits have also earned him multiple dishonourable mentions on the internet.
After the story appeared on Telegraph.co.uk, it spread to Canada, the USA, South Africa and Australia.
On chat forums north and south of the equator participants continue to ponder some of the issues raised by the case.
Has the bicycle in question been taken into protective custody, asked one?
Other contributors wanted to know if he had been banned from bike sheds in his hometown of Ayr, whether the bicycle in question was over 16 years old, and exactly what sex with a bicycle involves.
But answers came there none today as Mr Stewart left court with his head bowed and sought to hurry out of the limelight.